Muslims ambush and whip Gordon Brown

The British Prime Minister has been attacked by a party of militant Muslims. His car was forced to stop when some Muslims lay across the road. As the car slowed other Muslims leapt from the hedgerows and began to beat the Prime Minister with dog whips. He was saved from serious harm by his top hat.

This incident follows one at Lossiemouth Golf Club when a group of Muslims leapt on the Prime Minister and attempted to rip off his clothes. He was saved by the intervention of his daughter.

Others have suffered on Mr Brown's behalf. Lord Weardale was horse whipped by Muslims when he was mistaken for the Prime Minister. Mr Birrell had his kneecap damaged while travelling down Whitehall with the Prime Minister, and Mr Redmond was struck in the ear when a hatchet was thrown into the Prime Minster's car in Dublin. The windows of 10 Downing Street have been regularly smashed.

Mr Brown has refused to overreact to the attacks. Police have warned him that a group of Muslims have been practising pistol shooting at an address in Tottenham Court Road and there were fears that the P.M. might be shot at as he left Parliament. However, Mr Brown declined to have a group of Muslim pickets removed from outside Parliament after he was told by the police that they could probably stop any assailant before the Prime Minister was damaged.

Don't recall hearing about these attacks? Think they sound improbable? Well, it is certainly highly unlikely that Gordon Brown could act with such imperturbability.

However, if you change Brown to Asquith [Liberal Prime Minister 1908-16] and Muslim to suffragette you have a true historical account.

Jenkins, Roy. 1964. Asquith. Collins.